Class 118: How to be Legend
by Hammer n' Nail
Summary: Giantdad was locked in mortal combat with three undead, before he found himself in Remenant. Now it's his job to teach young children how to become legend. Which is kinda hard when you know three phrases and mostly communicate through taunts.
1. Become Unstop- a Teacher

**Why, why did I decide to do this. This is why I hate writing, I come up with more ideas than I can use. I don't own Dark Souls or RWBY, but that should be obvious because this website is called ' '  
Feat; Peeve Peeverson, Oroboro the Ninja (Brandon505), and Sunlight Blade.**

Giantdad, otherwise known as The Legend, was currently in a heated battle with three undead warrior in his Oolacile arena. That being said, the men were incredibly strong. One using a falchion, buffed with the magic of Gwyndolin wearing elite Astorian armor. The other using the infamous Chaos Blade, wearing thorny armor. The third warrior had on a white dress that looked as if it was plucked right off of Princess Dusk's body, wielding a giant dragon axe, that was currently being enhanced by the power of Gwyn's Sunlight Blade. The Legend had brushed the attacks off, two of them being dexterity based, so he would take no damage. All three undead, not willing to back down, Giantdad starting to taunt them, the battle was nearly over. With the strength of a Megamule, the spiked man pulled out a large great sword and attempted to cleave off Giantdad's head. Giantdad dodged, only to be hit by three things at once. A miracle, an offhanded katana, and a large blast of energy from the dragon weapon. This caused a rupture in space-time and ripped a portal through reality, that sucked in Giantdad. The man that was sent in his place, was a hollowed bald man, with a broken straight sword, who took the blows. He died saying this "What? Man I insta-died". As the falchion wielder turned he saw a horrific sight. There was a gigantic maggot, dry humping the air, while slowly spinning. Needless to say, the man wearing the dress never slept again. He did sleep with the other two though, just not actually sleeping.

Today was just not his day. As the giant was taken by the portal, he began falling. He presumed he was about six hundred feet in the air. With a sigh that sounded more as if he growled, Giantdad pulled out his chaos zweihander, and aimed it at a tree in hopes of the tree slowing him down. It didn't work, and the blade cut the entire tree down the middle, burning the tree to ash before the giant's feet even touched the ground. When they did, he created a crater deeper than the man was tall, but he raised himself out of it easily. He looked around, sensing the soulless creatures around him. They didn't make it close to him. He swung his zweihander in a horizontal arc, slashing all that jumped at him in half. He turned and started to walk towards some ruins he landed near, disturbing a nearby Deathstalker. The Legend didn't even turn around, he simply swung his sword backwards and split the creature's head in two, causing green blood to splatter on the blade. The Legend chortled behind the mask, laughing disturbingly as he saw the remaining creatures that had been tailing him run away. Then, suddenly, a Nevermore attack, it's giant feathers bouncing off the man's armor. Who simply turned and looked into it's eyes, the mask emitting an intimidating presence. He raised his arms a mock hug, causing the creature to land in front of him, offering a ride to please the man. With a chuckle that would have made Patches seem nice, he climbed onto the bird's back and they took off. As they rose, the man saw a castle like structure in the distance, and pointed towards it. The Nevermore seems anxious, but obeyed the man, fearing what might happen should it refuse his demands.

When they were over the castle's courtyard, he jumped off the grimm's back, causing it to shift slightly under Giantdad's weight. When Giantdad landed, the bricked flooring shattered beneath him, and the white tiles flying from his weight impacting the earth. A woman with a white blouse, blonde hair done in a braid, and black dress pants came running up to Giantdad. "Halt! Who are you?" the woman, Glynda Goodwitch, asked, faltering slightly under the gaze that the man presented her.

"**The Legend never dies**" Giantdad said in his characteristic gravel coated voice. The declaration caused Glynda to lose her footing slightly at the sheer volume the man projected his statement with. "**Giantdad, Father of Giants**" he boomed once more, adding. With the proclamation, he stabbed the large sword into the crater, causing the upturned dirt to erupt into flames. Glynda once again, stepped back away from the man, attempting to distance herself from 'Giantdad' as he called himself.

"Well sir...Giant" Glynda spoke after awhile "if you'll follow me, someone wants to meet you" she finished walking away, gesturing for him to follow her. Giantdad simply shrugged as he followed the woman into the large building. Said building was the cafeteria, in the middle of the afternoon. He followed Goodwitch as he casu- wrong word, he corrected himself, examined the students. With his sword draped across his shoulder, as tall as he was at three meters in length, and almost a meter wide, he was intimidating. So much so, that when he looked at any given student they all visibly shivered as they peered into the lifeless eyes of the mask. When they finally got to the designated room Glynda had led Giantdad, almost half the student body had mental trauma. Suppose that a nine foot man wearing disturbing armor coated in blood would do that to a teenager. The man walked into the room, forced to duck under the frame, before sitting in a chair obviously not made for people like him. It broke as soon as he put half his weight on it. Giantdad took to crouching, still being barely shorter than Goodwitch as he did.

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" A man with gray hair, spectacles, a cane, and surprisingly a plate of cookies asked. He set the cookies down before sitting in the chair across from Giantdad, eying the man. It soon became clear that the man would not talk, and as such Ozpin moved on. "Where did you come from?" Ozpin questioned the large man.

Giantdad tilted his head to the left, enough that his head was now completely horizontal before speaking "**Lord...ran**" Ozpin glared at that answer, lowering his eyes. "Very well, what is your name?" Ozpin asked again accepting the previous statement. "**Giantdad**" The large man proclaimed without any form of resistance. Ozpin nodded before crossing his legs and intertwining his fingers.

"This area you have stumbled upon it my school, Beacon" Ozpin explained "It trains Huntsman and Huntresses against the forces of Grimm, the large black creatures you fought when arriving here correct?" He asked earning a slow nod. "I would like to offer you a teaching position, but first you must pass a trial" Ozpin offered "so, will you teach the young pupils of this generation your talents?" Ozpin asked him a smirk planted on his face.

"**The Legend, makes legends**" Giantdad stated nodding his head vigorously. Ozpin then motioned for Glynda to come in, and whispered to her something, as she lead the giant away.

**SCENE BREAAAAAK~**

"So Rubes, why do you think all of us were called here?" Yang Xiao Long asked her younger sister Ruby, who simply shrugged at the question before turning to Weiss Schnee, a girl that only had white colored clothing. "What do you think Weiss?" Ruby asked the heiress who replied "How would I know you dolt?" earning a sigh from their most quiet member, Blake. They were currently in the cafeteria, which housed all of Beacon's students. So close to five thousand. Behind team RWBY, a man in a tuxedo, with a rose in the left pocket and a cape stood behind them. His best friend also having a cape, though more of a shoulder drape than anything else, as he hid his incredibly large elephant trunk, as he was an elephant faunas. The co-leader simply sighed at the tuxedo wearing fop who was swooning over a girl that had an affiliation with roses. His brown hair eclipsed by a beanie hat. The final team member had beard and was the leader. He laughed at his friend's antics at trying to woo the girl, ending up being punched by her sister. They were Ray, Gavin, Micheal, and Geoff, team GRMG (pronounced Gremlings).

"Attention students!" Headmaster Ozpin called from the podium at the head of the cafeteria "I am sure you are all wondering why you are here" he stated "Well you are all about to watch someone attempt to pass the initiation to become a teacher." He said pointing to the screen above his head where Glynda can be seen with Giantdad, what was on a launching platform. Glynda attempted to pull the switch, only for the trigger to not be able to spring under Giantdad's weight. Seeing the problem, he pulled out his zweihander, and cut a slice down the cliff side as he slide down the side of the mountain. Only problem was, he was kinda splitting a mountain.

**I shouldn't start a new story when I've done _two_ chapters of my other one, but god damn this idea would have eaten my soul away if I didn't write it. Yes, Giantdad is becoming a teacher. I'm a fucking genius. Anyways, Read, Relax, Review, and have a happy 2015. **


	2. Well What is it?

**Hey, hey, hey!  
I feel like I'm ripping off ~~~~~ by doing that. Meh.  
Anyways onto answering reviews!**

**Guest: Firstly, why you no name ;-;? Secondly thank you.  
**

**TheLaughingSkulls: Haha! That's what this is!**

**Mastermind (guest): I never said he couldn't _speak_ I said he knew three phrases. He's like twelve thousand years old (I'll research it later) and hasn't said anything since then except for his catchphrases; ergo Giantdad, Father of Giants, The Legend Never Dies, Well What is it?, ect. He's not illiterate. He just doesn't talk much, which is why his voice sounds like a thousand cats being run over by a steam roller put through a soundboard made to sound like a demon.**

**Also, hot damn this story had as many reviews, and almost as many follows and favorite as my other story, with 1/5 of the views. I guess people like Giantdad.**

**Onto the Story! Also I don't own RWBY nor Dark Souls. They belong to their respective owners.**

The entire amphitheater-cafeteria combo was basked in silence. The new teacher had just slice a mountain. He sliced through nine feet of solid rock, from a well over hundred foot drop, leaving a trail of fire as he fell.

"You could _cut_ the tension in here with a sword" Yang suddenly said, earning groans from majority of the room. Which made an incredibly load chorus as there were five thousand students in there. Blake simply sighed before turning back to the projection of the man falling, or rather slicing, down the side of the cliff. Eventually he ran out of cliff and hit the ground with an earth shattering thud. So earth shattering that a small tremor was felt all the way from Beacon.

Giantdad ripped his trusty sword from the clutches of the cliff and slung it over his shoulder. He then proceeded to walk aimlessly into the forest below. He figured he was probably further away from it than he should have started, by way of his weight breaking the spring mechanism. He sauntered forward into the forest, silently, the only sound being that of his armor clanking. He continued like this, a daunting cycle that was one foot after the other. Suddenly a large deathstalker came out of the trees, attempting to stab the man with it's large telson and shoving it's metasoma forward. Giantdad side stepped the stab, leaving the Scorpion open to a large sweeping attack of the zweihander. Said attack had cut through the grimm's head, and it's body fell to the ground. Giantdad raised his arms in a mock hug and turned towards the camera hidden in a tree before speaking. **"Well, what is it?"** he asked looking directly into the camera.

This caused the entire student body, as well as quite a few teachers, to visibly gawk at the man who single handily killed a grimm with a single strike, without his semblance no less, before turning to a camera that was camouflaged, taunting the grimm and people watching him.

"What is he?" Weiss asked no one in particular, slightly scared of the new man. "I've never heard of him before, yet he fights with power that would make most elite huntsman and huntresses jealous" Weiss stated as she kept her eyes glued onto the screen before them. Blake simply shook her head and didn't even bother to tear her gaze from the screen. Yang smirked slightly at the proposal of such a powerful teacher, and all the new things he could teach her. Ruby wasn't scared, intimidated, or even impressed by the man. She just wanted him to explain his weapon, and maybe make her one.

Giantdad turned on his heel and started walking the same direction again. He continued, chopping beowolves and the like easily. Finally Giantdad was interrupted again by a large crossing Ursa class grimm. The Ursa looked at Giantdad and decided that it wouldn't be in it's best interest to fight it. The grimm continued to cross the path that the giant was currently walking, ignoring the giant. Then the grimm was cleaved in half by the blade, it's body burning by the flames of chaos. Giantdad taunted the dead creature like he had the ones before, but this time shook his finger is a scolding fashion at where the corpse was, telling it no. Giantdad didn't bother repeating his action to the camera at his left, and simply threw a stick at it, to acknowledge it was there.

Ozpin visibly winced as his camera fell to the floor off it's perch in the tree. He would have to ask how he kept doing that. Weiss was once again shocked at his strength. Blake made a disapproving look at the taunting of the corpse. Yang grimaced at the premise of having this man as a teacher after his ruthless slaughter. Ruby felt a tinge of pity for the grimm, as it had even tried to avoid conflict. Jaune was almost trembling thinking how hard the man's class would be, Pyrrha was attempting to comfort her leader as she examined the man's battle style. Nora was ecstatic at the idea of having someone so good at killing grimm teacher her. Ren simply sighed and continued to watch the screen as Nora began to regale what would happen if she fought with the giant.

The giant had, after what he assumed was a hour or so of searching, found ruins that were of unknown origin. After searching the inner portion of the ruins, Giantdad found himself presented with many options. There were chess pieces, two for each set. Two kings, two queens, two rooks, two knights, and two bishops. Looking around, Giantdad spotted some more obscurely hidden options in the form of the golden and black pawns. Giantdad simply stood weighing his options. There were twelve options, and the outcome from picking each was unknown. Giantdad stuck his sword into the ground and rubbed his hand together.

Watching the screen, no one was sure what the giant was doing. His silly mask obscuring any emotion, and his refusal to make any sounds made him unreadable. They were surprised however when he stuck his sword into the ground. "What's he doing?" Ruby asked innocently, curious as to why he would rub his hands together.

"He's most likely weighing his options, not sure what piece means what outside of their roles" Blake answered her, assuming his actions.

"Very perceptive Ms. Belladonna" a new voice sounded. The team turned around to be faced by Ozpin, who had a small smile plastered on his face. "He's most likely going to-" Ozpin began before being cut off by Yang.

"Oh my god!" Yang exclaimed pointing to the screen, when they all looked back, their jaws hit the ground.

Giantdad was currently lifting the entire base the columns were on over his head. It took a while at first, but once he got his footing, Giantdad was able to comfortably walk back to the school carrying the large ruins. Once Giantdad reached the treeline he was conflicted. He couldn't get the entire structure through the tree without probably losing chucks to the branches, or at the very least getting stuck. Giantdad shifted the ruin's weight to his left hand, as he used his right to aim at the sky with his zweihander. From the tip exploded a torrent of flame that created a beacon for his new transportation to find him. After a moment a moderately sized nevermore came down from somewhere bowing to him slightly. Gesturing towards the ruins he was carrying, Giantdad shifted the weight onto both his hands again. The nevermore flinched at the sight of what it would be carrying. Deciding not to break it's back, it released a loud caw, bringing two more nevermore that were larger than the original. Giantdad assumed they were the parents. Who almost looked grateful at Giantdad. Giantdad set the ruins across the threes back's when they were in a line. He then procured a seat on the ruins, and the nevermore took flight towards Beacon** (A/N: I'm not apologizing for the stupidity of that logic, it's Giantdad)**.

Ozpin was glaring slightly at the screen that was now void of any creatures, gripping his cane harder than he normally did. Weiss looked similar of that to a fish, as she kept opening and closing her mouth in a loss of words. Blake had simply given up and slouched slightly lowering her head. Yang was no longer excited at the thought of him being a teacher. Ruby had a look of amazement and wonder crossed on her face as she had sparkles in her eyes. Jaune had promptly fainted, Pyrrha didn't even notice his tumble as she was in shock of his will over grimm. Nora had a similar look to Ruby, but wasn't nearly as excited. Ren simply remembered to build a grave for logic. He thought the tombstone would look something like this.  
_Here Lies Logic_

_The Beginning of Time – Now  
Was Killed by a Giant who Commanded Grimm Like Someone in Debt _

_R.I.P  
_Suddenly an ear-shattering crash emitted from outside the cafeteria. The sound ripped Ren from his thoughts. Then the doors opened to reveal said giant, who simply walked up onto the stage. Ozpin then, hesitantly began his speech.  
"Giantdad has chosen...the entire ruined building as his piece" Ozpin began, coughing after he said piece "and as such has proven he has what it takes to become a teacher at this academy. He will teach in room 118, and his class will be combat instruction for heavy weapon users." Ozpin said, looking out into the sea of astonished faces. Ozpin sighed again. "Dismissed" he called once more before walking off the stage, Giantdad hot on his heels.

"This is your classroom" Ozpin stated as he opened the door to class 118. He turned on the lights, before walking down the set of stairs in the middle of the classroom. " In that closet" Ozpin started pointing to a door on the right "You'll find a mattress, and on the left is a storage closet" he stated. Giantdad didn't respond to Ozpin continued. "Your classes will be from eight to eleven, with a break for lunch lasting an hour between eleven to twelve, then twelve to six" Ozpin finished as he started walking back out the door. Ozpin nodded his head at the man who nodded back before closing the door.  
Giantdad then started to turn the desk in the center of the room into a bonfire.

**_**

**Oh my god you have no idea how hard I laughed at this. The entire time I was writing the scene about him lifting the ruins above him, I was listening to 'The Blue Danube Waltz' and almost shit myself it was so funny. I don't know maybe it's just me. Anyways I have a little thing I wanna do. It's a quiz you answer by reviewing. I kinda want to do it simply because I feel like it would be a fun challenge. No Google please... ;-;**

**Who in the Dark Souls community popularized the Giantdad build?**

**Who created the fake Giantdad boss fight?  
**

**What is my profile picture on FanFiction of?**

**Who's catchphrase is " Hey, hey, hey"?**

**Damage wise, what is the difference between Occult and Divine weapons in Dark Souls?**

**Alright 5 questions is enough to see if you guys like it, I thought it might be cool to do. If you get all of them right, I'll list your name at the beginning of a chapter, still though please don't use google.**

**Anyways, the next chapter will be out on the 14****th****, so until then, Read, Relax, and have a happy 2015.**


	3. There's and Ear Less

**Hey y'all, another chapter coming your way.  
I got it out by the 14th, and I had a stomach bug the 10th-13th so this may be a little rushed. Anyways, on to the reviews.**

**Firstly, only Guest is my name even did the quiz. Why did you guys not do it. So even though he got a question wrong (well, I think he got it wrong) I'll include him. The person who says "Hey, hey, hey" is Fat Arnold, though I've never watched TTGL, so I don't know what Kamina's catchphrase is regardless. Ehm.  
Right, then answers were:  
1\. OnlyAfro  
2\. Hellkite Drake, that was a hard, since the video is no longer up. Props.  
3\. Ty the Tasmanian Tiger, my favorite video game.  
4\. Fat Arnold (like I previously stated).  
5\. Divine is better against skeletons and stops revival, while Occult does extra damage to gods i.e. Gwyndolin, Gwyn, Silver/Black Knights, ect. Also if I remember correctly, Occult does a slight bit more physical damage than Divine does a slight bit more magic damage than Occult. Either answer would have been correct.**

**Onto the Chapter, I do not own RWBY or Dark Souls.**

Giantdad sat in the middle of the classroom. Sat next to his bonfire, that is. Needless to say, since Giantdad was an undead he did not require food or water. He had such a large collection of souls he wasn't even worried about hollowing. The giant sat waiting for his class to arrive, he remembered it was... nine? Eight, perhaps? Giantdad was never good with time, a direct result of Lordran itself not behaving time's laws. Then again, he was sure he'd probably broken a few laws of physics in his time. Even if he didn't know which ones he broke.

Along the walls of the classroom, were monuments from his journeys before he settled in Oolicle. He had the infamous Murakumo taken from Shiva of the Deceased. He also had Smough's hammer against a wall. The large hammer was even larger than Giantdad, though he could effectively use it nonetheless. Hung above the chalkboard was a gravelord sword. He took it not long after Leeroy was engulfed in that green light. Shame the portal that took Giantdad wasn't green, otherwise he could have had a rematch with the man. And Grant. Okay so maybe he was obsessed with gigantic weapons. He had other various weapons strewn across the room, along with tips such as "Smoke Green Blossom", "Well,what is it?", "Fire the Bass Cannon", and many others, though he couldn't begin to count them as he heard a loud bell sound. 'Students' Giantdad scoffed at his inner thought. He never liked them, always..._clinging_. That being said the only one he had ever meet was Griggs. Gwyn knows that annoyance was like glue, always sticking near Logan. Giantdad sat up, and picked up a piece of chalk. He nearly crushed the talc in his grip, but luckily didn't, and began to write on the board. He didn't even turn around as his class began to fill with students that carried large weapons. Said students were, Cardin, Ruby, Velvet, Nora, Coco , a bear faunas, and many more. Eventually, after another five or so minutes a second bell rung. Giantdad, turned, stepped to the side, and gestured towards the board. It read; 

"_Hello, I am Giantdad. You may call me whatever you please. I shall be your instructor for the following while, with no definite end. Regardless today is the first lesson, and will be most likely remedial and common knowledge, but you never know what you might not know."_

_P.S. Today will be about momentum.  
_  
There were, needless to say, varying levels of acceptance. Ruby was excited, and was glancing all over the room, marveling the weapons. Cardin rolled his eyes at the formality, but was still intrigued, seeing as how the teacher had lifted the _entire_ base of the columns. Nora was literally bouncing in her seat. Velvet smiled, and brought of her notes, as well as a pen. The bear faunas slightly banged his head against the desk, as he was a fourth year

Giantdad did a sort of wave motion, then pulled a weapon off the wall. Said weapon was a Greatlord Greatsword. Yatsuhashi used a similar weapon, and so Giantdad pointed at him, before doing a gesture towards him. Giantdad tossed his larger sword the the right, making a loud screeching sound as it scraped against the tiled flooring. He held the smaller, albeit still large, sword in front of himself. Yatsuhashi bowed. Giantdad did the same.

Yatsuhashi rushed forward, using a 'catch them off guard' strategy. It didn't end well, and his large vertical slash was parried with his _hand_. Giantdad retaliated with a stab of his sword, that cut Yatsuhashi right above the shoulder, tearing his uniform slightly. **"Dead"** the giant bellowed, putting the sword back onto the wall. Yatsuhashi bowed respectfully again, before turning back to the stairs, and approaching his seat. The class was shocked, not all for the same reason though. Coco and Velvet were paralyzed at the fact Yatsuhashi was so easily beaten. Ruby was in marvel at his mastery of fighting, predicting the strike before it had any tells. The bear now was paying attention with a calculating eyes. Before anyone could react, he picked up a rather large great-hammer. Not large enough to be on par with the man's height, yet still tall enough that it was clear that a hit from it would hurt.

Both Nora and Cardin got up at the same time. They looked at each other, mind willing the other to sit down. **"Well, what is it?"** Giantdad taunted his arms in a mock hug, causing the two to look at him. They both approached him, simultaneously. Neither liked each other, but they were going to beat him. Giantdad looked at them both, before gesturing for them to come forward. Cardin brought his mace down in a clumsy way, making the strike easy to side step. Nora came right after him, shooting a grenade at him for good measure. The giant turned at the incoming projectile, and caught it in a groove along the hammer, fling it back at the girl as fast as it had been sent. Nora had no time to dodge as she brought Magnhild up just in time to block the explosion. Said explosion knocked her on her ass, and Magnhild flew from her grip. Giantdad payed the girl no mind as he dodged another strike from Cardin, who recovered from the earlier dodge. Giantdad leaped, backwards before tapping Cardin on the knee with the hammer, causing him to lose his balance. By the time Cardin regained it, he was inches away from a hammer colliding with his face. **"Dead" **he boomed. Cardin was visibly shaking, and he promptly turned around and half-sprinted to his seat. Nora slouch walked into her seat, in knowingly defeat.  
He turned to the blackboard, and wrote on it;  
_Greatsword; too much of a delayed reaction, doesn't have to be, no secondary means of attack. B  
Hammer; conservative, stays to far away after launching attack, loses momentum. B  
Mace; puts to much momentum into swings, is incredibly vulnerable after with a short range. C  
_Giantdad then turned nodded, and continued with the lesson.

After fighting through hoards of students, leaving many either scared shitless, or unconscious, he had two students left. Red and Bear. He still needed to acquire those...boxes to test two students, but that wasn't necessary at the moment. The bear faunas no longer seemed bored, and looked excited to battle such a powerful foe. Giantdad picked up his previously tossed Zweihander, and readied himself. The bear pulled out his blue sword, it glittered under the artificial light. Giantdad deduced it was diamond. Not a practical weapon, though he looked like someone with higher mobility than defense. Similar to the majority of the children's styles. Then again, it might have just been because of them wearing uniforms. The bear pounced attempting to slash at the brass armor, only to be interrupted as he had to turn from the blade blocking the sword. "Damn" the faunas cursed, knowing he found the weakness in his sword. While diamond may be able to cut through almost anything, it's atom make-up made it possible for almost anything to cut it as well. Similar to gold, it was sharp, but it was too heavy and breakable to be practical. Then again, who likes practical? The faunas charged again, though the man blocked with his sword again. The bear faunas, Micheal 'Mogar' Jones was getting angry. To further infuriate the student, Giantdad shook his finger at him, in a 'no' fashion. A red aura enveloped him, as he charged the man again, swinging hard against the blade that blocked the strike. So hard in fact, that the zweihander cracked. He swung the diamond sword in a common horizontal slash, only to be parried by the Giant. Before Micheal could get away, the man clasped his hand on Micheal's shoulder, causing Micheal to pause. Then the giant clapped. Clapped. It was a loud booming sound as he clapped in a fast paced, loud tempo. He then turned towards the board and wrote.

_Diamond, strong, good enough to crack large weapons with low durability. Medium range, no momentum lost. A+  
_"WHOO!" Micheal yelled as he threw his hands up in victory and sauntered back to his seat. He was the first to get an A+ so far. Sure others got A's, but he got an A+ and was so going to brag to his team later. Regardless the next person was up, Ruby.

Ruby gulped and picked up Crescent Rose before walking down the stairs, and entering a combat stance. Giantdad set his favorite weapon against the wall and picked up a scythe. Under the mask, he was scowling at the weapon. He silently thanked it for being Lightning enchanted, and quickly picked it up and posed a stance with it. Ruby charged forward with a large slashing motion, prompting Giantdad to roll under the slash and bring the scythe up in a quick motion. He staggered slightly when his target was no longer in front of him. He swung behind him, only to collide with a scythe. Said scythe was the Crescent Rose. Giantdad turned around and locked blades with Ruby. Ruby shifted her weapons and jumped back, causing the scythe Giantdad was using to slam into the ground, cracking the tiled floor. Ruby let loose a gun shot, loud enough to slightly deafen the classroom, excluding Giantdad who simply leaned back from the force of being hit by a bullet. The bullet simply bounced off his armor, but it hit hard enough to leave a dent. Giantdad threw his massive scythe and miraculously pinned Ruby to the wall, with her head still on. Giantdad then turned back to the board, as Ruby struggled to get unstuck from the wall. Giantdad then wrote upon it.

_Scythe; strong, fast, and enough force to dent armor. Very good, momentum allows easy dodging. _A++ 

"Yay!" Ruby shouted from her spot on the wall. Micheal's eye twitched, as he got murderous intent. Nora cheered for her friend, who no one had helped escape from the scythe's trap. Cardin was messing with Velvet's ears. Giantdad pulled open a drawer, and brought of a bunch of throwing knives. He then threw a single knife towards Cardin.  
"GOOD GOD MY EAR!" Cardin shouted as his cartilage was torn from his ear, and pinned to the wall via throwing knife. Giantdad simply responded with a mock hug, and was going to say his catchphrase, but was interrupted by a loud bell.

**Yep. Giantdad x Vel- no I'm kidding. Am I? Maybe. Probably not. This chapter was fun to write. Mostly because I like hurting Cardin. And yes, the AH Crew are here, bitch all you want. **

**Let's reply to some reviews from chapter 2:  
mastermind: Sorry if I came off hostile, I was just explaining it sorry ;-;.  
Guest is my name: mostly right, and the only person to do it, thank ya.**

**Panzer hunter: Logic is dying, there's no logic.  
Bobby McFuergeson: Update I shall.  
Giant Step Uncle: Funny name xD**

**The rest weren't really questions, so much as a 'FUCK YA MORE!' review. Which I appreciate.  
IT'S QUIZ TIME!  
Again, don't use Google please.  
1\. What is Glynda Goodwitch's weapon?**

**2\. What is a Faunas?**

**3\. What song is "Fire the Bass Cannon" from?  
4\. What is Ruby's semblance?  
5\. What is the strongest material in the world?  
Next chapter is out on the 21st, until then, enjoy.**


	4. Matchmaker of RWBY

**Hey y'all! New chapter, and here were the last quiz's answers, happy more people did it this time around.  
1\. Riding Crop (kinky)  
2.A person with animal traits, tail, ears, horns, ect.  
3\. Excision.  
4\. Super speed  
5\. Trick question, diamonds are not the 'strongest' mineral in the world, they are the sharpest. The correct answer would have either been Graphene, or Carbyne. That being said, no one got this answer correct. I'll just list the people who got 4/5 correct.**

**Potat0s0Verlord  
mastermind  
Guest number 9 (I never specified in what world the material was in, bedrock is unbreakable so..)  
undaed (Here since they listed the toughest materials in Dark Souls)**

**Also, as I overlooked it earlier, the bonfire is not in the center of the room, rather, it's in Giantdad's 'bedroom' and the entirety of the room is empty, with the exception of the student's decks and the blackboard. Anyways, enjoy. (Also, I have no idea what the pairings are going to be, I'm actually tempted to make Giantdad x Velvet)**

**[The Best Line Break You Have Ever Seen]**

"You, are an idiot" Glynda stated as she glared at the giant, any previous intimidation gone only to be replaced with rage. Giantdad resisted the urge to say something about that time of the month. " Not an idiot, simply not extensively thinking, Ms. Goodwitch" Ozpin spoke up, sipping from his cup of coffee. This nonchalant portrayal of emotion, caused Glynda to smack him in the head with his own cup. "And you, why are you not worrying? A teacher just assaulted a student!" Glynda questioned making large waving motions with her arms.

"I'm not worried, because Mr. Winchester would have been suspended for excessive bullying, not to mention disrupting the class" Ozpin replied "Therefore, it was his fault." Glynda felt a vein throbbing on her forehead, and Giantdad even face-palmed at Ozpin's crude reasoning. Giantdad simply pulled out a bag, and threw it onto the table. Giantdad had soon picked up that, for whatever reason, the undeath that plagued Lordran did not effect this area. He reasoned that, souls were most likely not the currency, and pulled his coins out of the bottomless box. Glynda reached for the bag, tugging the bag open, only to reveal ninety-nine solid gold coins. Sure, they didn't weigh that much, but with ninety-nine of them, one could buy oneself a small mansion. Glynda dropped her jaw, as it seemingly unhinged itself at the sight of so much money being given away.

**"Enough?" **the giant boomed while tilting his head slightly. Ozpin did miss a beat.

"That should be satisfactory, though please refrain from causing an incident in the future" he replied with his trademark half-smirk. Glynda faltered slightly at Ozpin so casually taking the money. Giantdad wasted no time, turning on his heel and walking back towards the stairs.

Glynda watched him leave, and when he was out of earshot she finally spoke, "Ozpin is it truly wise to allow him to continu- Ozpin?" Glynda was going to ask, only to find a unconscious Ozpin with a concussion. Glynda mentally slapped herself before picking up Ozpin bridal style and walking to the elevator. 

**[ How Jelly Are You of This Linebreak ]  
**

"And then, he threw a butcher's knife" Nora exclaimed, only for Ruby to contradict her.  
"It was a throwing knife."  
"And when it hit Cardin, it tore his entire right ear off!"  
"It tore off the part where his earring goes."  
"And then he taunted Cardin!"  
"That one's actually true."

Currently at lunch, the first and second years were eating. The only exception was Cardin, who was in the infirmary. The entire table had mixed reactions. Pyrrha seemed concerned at his lack of control, Jaune was having a miniature party in his mind, Ren did care (not like he ever does), and Nora was ecstatic because she's Nora. Team RWBY seemed slightly more excited with the prospect. Ruby was, for all intents and purposes, to happy about her grade to care. Yang wanted to test her strength against the man. Weiss scoffed at the man's carelessness and rashness. Blake was slightly concerned about the health of those who had large weapons.

"That's totally wicked!" Jaune exclaimed earning a questioning look from Pyrrha. "Well, I mean, he should stop bullying people now, hehe" Jaune attempted to cover up his cheering at another student's pain. Ren nodded at the prediction before speaking "So, do you think he's going to lose the other cartilage, or the entirety of his ear next?" earning mortified looks from the majority of those present. "Ten lien on the entire ear" Yang spoke up, jingling some change in her hand.

**"Cartilage"** a loud voice blasted from behind the table, only to reveal Giantdad was listening in on the entire conversation. Weiss made an 'eep' sound and jumped into Ruby's arms, Yang fell off her seat, Blake had just barely heard him approach by way of her faunas attributes. Jaune let out a high pitched scream as he jumped out of his chair, and smacked his head onto the floor, Pyrrha gasped loudly at the silent approach, and Nora clung to Ren's arm, the latter seeming to know he was already there. When they all recovered, Weiss's face was similar to Ruby's hood in terms of shade, and Yang was grumbling as she pulled out ten lien. Giantdad, being the blunt figure he is, walked around the table, positioning himself behind Ruby and Weiss. He then grabbed both their heads, causing them to turn to each other, and pushed their heads together. Now, by all logic, they should have butted head, but by the magic of Giantdad, their lips connected. Jaune fainted from a nosebleed, Yang was making cat calls, Blake was hiding a blush behind a book, Pyrrha was checking if Jaune was alive, Nora was bouncing in her seat, and Ren just had a blank stare on his face. Ruby and Weiss were blushing profusely, and Weiss almost immediately pulled back, ending the kiss.

"Why you!" Weiss started to yell at the teacher before Ruby cupped her cheeks and started another kiss. Weiss became incredibly more accepting of this kiss, and kissed her back. Ruby put her arms around Weiss's lithe waist as Weiss put her arms around Ruby's neck in order to pull each other closer. Giantdad looked at his handiwork and made two thumbs up as Yang began speaking to him "Looks like we got matchmaker of the year over here," Yang said gesturing to Giantdad whom had lost his thumbs up "Who wants to bet that by the end of the ye-" She began again, only to lock lips with a certain kitty. Blake attempted to pull back, only to have her locked into place by Yang's arms. Yang let loose a grin against Blake's lips before slamming her lips back into the kiss, causing Blake to mewl slightly. Ren had already high-tailed it out of there silently, not like it was very hard when no one at the table was paying attention to anything but the kissing.

Weiss and Ruby pulled out of the kiss inhaling large portions of air, while Pyrrha was almost bouncing at the chance she would kiss Jaune. Jaune had since recovered, and had an excessive amount of tissues stopping him from bleeding out. Nora was catcalling in the place of Yang, not that Yang minded. Giantdad turned away as Yang and Blake broke their session, giving a single thumbs up over his shoulder as he walked away. Today was one of those days.

Giantdad sauntered back to his class, not minding the questioning stares he received. No matter how much you see it, a nine foot man is still eye-catching. He opened the door to his classroom not moments before the bell rung for his second class. Giantdad inwardly sighed, as his secondary class was filled with people that are side characters. The few notable faces that were in the class were Jack, whom sported a large ginger bird nest as he leaned on his sledgehammer, Geoff who had a sort of goatee as he cuddled his chainsaw. Ryan, Professor Mustache's son, who apparently had a whistle. The class went by much slower than the previous class, not by way of Giantdad having to stop, his undeath made his stamina reserves massive, no this class just had people who knew strategy. As such, they were keen on dodging. Eventually the class ended, at what Giantdad assumed was three in the afternoon. When the bell rung, he listed the names of the students he didn't get to on a piece of paper, which he promptly stuck to the wall with a rapier. Students once again began to file into his class, and so, with a sigh that sounded more like a growl, he walked into the middle of the classroom and began to teach the lesson about momentum.  
Giantdad was someone with quite of bit of patience, he could attest to that, being undead made him so. That didn't mean that repeatedly kicking ass for ten hours with no challenge was fun. Sure, he made some of them believe that they had done amazing, though that was more him not actually trying, or simply being sloppy to balance out the difference in skill levels. So when the final bell rang, he couldn't have been happier. Not that he hadn't been content with teaching, it was just boring. And so, he left to go kill some grimm. That was, until the red girl interrupted him. "Um, hey Mr. Giant, I just wanted to, uh, say thanks" Ruby stuttered out blushing. Giantdad tilted his head slightly before saying something that vaguely sounded like an 'ah' before speaking **"No need to thank"** he put simply.  
"But, you helped me kiss Weiss!" Ruby exclaimed loudly, before clamping her hands over her mouth. Giantdad couldn't help but chuckle at the girl before he began again, **"You kissed her, freely" **the giant attempted to explain causing the young girl to blush horribly. He patted her back with an armored gauntlet before stating **"Young love"** and walking away. Ruby attempted to yell out to the man, but he seemed determined to do something, so little red simply stood in the hallway, before making in back to her room. Giantdad heeded no mind to the girl as he walked outside, his trademark sword slung over his shoulder. He needed to slaughter, it was in his nature. Though, he figured the things without souls were probably better to slaughter, seeing as they were hollow. At least, he assumed they were hollow, not finding much difference from them and the rats that had plagued themselves with humanity. Giantdad took a running jump off Beacon's helipad and proceeded to fall exponentially fast. He slid down the cliff side, the action reminding him of fighting the Bed of Chaos, or as the Darkmoon put it 'Bed of Baloney'. Figuring he was nearing the bottom of the cliff, the giant stuck his sword into the mountain, slowing him down quite a bit, to the point he was only sliding at a few miles per hour, before finally stopping.

After scaling down the rest of the way, Giantdad found himself in a sort of city. It wasn't his fault that he had missed the forest, the damn school is bigger than the Duke's Archives were! Giantdad muttered under his breathe as he walked into the city, as the sun began to set. Crime was always fun to slaughter. 

**[No Need to Be Jelly of the Linebreak]  
**

**So, how did you guys like that? Matchmaker Giantdad FTW! I tried to make the dialogue less choppy in this chapter, as it's never been my strong point. Where as most writers I know loathe fight scenes, I can write them better than dialogue. I'm weird like that. NEW QUIZ!**

**1 What is the shipping name for Blake x Yang  
2 What is Ruby's uncle named?  
3 What is Ty the Tasmanian Tiger's secondary means of attack, ergo, not his boomerangs.  
4 Who are in the shipping 'Baked Alaska/ Banana Split'  
5 When did Dark Souls get released in the U.S.**

**Also, answer all the questions please, not just one. Someone asked me that last time.  
Some Future Stories to Look Forward to: **

**'The Key to Mokey' Yu-Gi-Oh GX/RWBY, Rated:T, Description: Out of nowhere, a small, pillow-like creature pops up as the girls return from their mission with Professor Oobleck. Now, the four girls take care of said angelic pillow. Little did they know, Mokey Mokey has two concealed weapons. His fists in his pockets. Crackfic.**

**'Soulless, But Not to Me' Yu-Gi-Oh/RWBY, Rated:M, Description: Card games save the world on a regular basis, and when duelists love their cards enough, you can see their duel spirits, their souls. So, how can the grimm not have souls, if Ruby can see them!**


	5. Sharing with a Pirate

**Oh...well then. One review. I honestly don't care about the number, I'm just surprised no one gushed at how much I shipped last chapter. Then again, I could have done something creative like Snowbunny, or Velvet Cookies, but whatever.  
Congrats to Loyaltothelegion, being as he/she was the only one to review. And to answer his/her question, most likely I will. I'll also probably add Oroboro-Sempai, Peeve-Chan, and Sunlight-Nii-sama. Also, the Japanese titles were a joke. I'll lose my damned mind if I had to remember which one I assigned.**

**"Ripped to shreds, painted red!" **the giant sang as he fought some goons attempting to rob a store. **"Chopped off your head, now you're dead!" **he began singing the other verses as well. The leader, a large set man with a gray beard that stuck out from his Whitefang mask, was currently glaring down the man as his peons fell. He was appalled by the sheer amount of gore the sword created. His thoughts were interrupted as he weaved to the left to avoid an overhead swing that split the concrete the leader was previously standing on. **"Burnt alive, what a joy"** the giant continued as he slashed at the leader **"shame that you are not coy" **he continued as he slashed at the leader who was barely dodging the much larger swords.

"Take this seriously you moron!" the leader exclaimed to Giantdad as he jumped back, getting sick of his song. His wishes were answered, in the form of Giantdad no longer singing, and now moving monumentally fast in comparison to previously. The leader attempted to get away, thought the giant's new speed proved to fast for him to avoid, and one of his legs were caught by the sword, effectively cleaving it off where it cut. The flames ran up the man and started to devour his soul, his leaked blood creating a network with the soul. 

"**Your soul shall burn, you will die" **the giant started up again, his voice booming over the man.

"N-no, I can't!"

**"Retire in piece, and goodbye..." **Giantdad finally finished his song as the flames proved to much for such a weak soul to handle, and his body began to convulse as he burned. **_'Ah, I nearly forgot how beautiful it was to watch souls burn' _**the giant thought to himself _'You idiot, you're going to attract attention'_ a feminine voice chastised him, though he ignored it. Giantdad had long since lived with, what he assumed, was his conscious. He usually listened to him, as it often talked him out of incredibly stupid decisions, much like fighting Gwyndolin.

"Hey there friend, nice to see ya saved me" A voice called from within the store. "I just didn't want to break anything, so thanks" a deep and gruff voice called from the doorway where a man stood. The man looked to be seven feet tall, though he was probably a bit taller, and he had a posh mustache, similar to the one Professor Port had, though black in color. His head was bare, and an eye-patch covered his right eye, while a monocle covered his left. He wore a standard tuxedo, though to the more trained eye one would see there was actually armor under the tux. He was built incredibly well, though he was still quite skinny in comparison to many other wrestling stars. He was the Corpirate.

"Not many willing to kill the guilty, suppose your some kinda anti-hero then? Eh, not like I care" The Corpirate asked, not waiting for an answer. He then turned and gestured for Giantdad to follow him into the shop. Giantdad followed the shorter man into the shop. The interior lined with mementos, an old suit, a broken monocle, pictures of many friends and family. "Sit" Corpirate put simply as he pointed to a reinforced chair. Giantdad did, as it surprisingly held up his massive weight.  
"Surprised?" he asked, seeing the giant looking around the chair. "My friends, whom I shall call blue and blue two, are incredibly dense, as such, that chair can hold up a hell o' a lot of mass." He explained before sitting in an old wooden chair. He leaned his head back as he began asking the giant if he wanted a story. The giant boomed with a loud confirmation. The wrestler let out a small, sad smile as he began to retell the story of his life.

He told the giant about how he started, his first big match. Five others were there, and they all eventually because friends. The Broccoli man, the green skinned man with a green afro. Apparently he was an experiment gone wrong, no memory of who he was. Only clues were his rabbit ears, and his horn. He was unnaturally skinny, though despite this, he was one of the Corpirate's best friends. Another of his friends, Papa Brownman, otherwise known as Ray Narvaez Senior. He was known for wearing a large sombrero, though as Geoff told the giant, he had since died during a mission. He did go out in a blaze of glory, and tacos. It was his final wish. There was Mac, A.K.A. Professor Port, who by the Corpirate's words was a 'tongue goatee propeller douche' in his gorilla suit, and red goatee. One of the Corpirate's friends apparently went by Beardo the Magnificent who had an afro, and an apparently magnificent beard. He apparently 'strut his stuff' as the Corpirate put it, in a green speedo, and green bowtie. Then his final original friend was a vigilante, who for all intents and purposes, had powers similar to those of a spider, so he was often considered a spider faunas by his friends.

He did make many other friends, though none were close to his original set of friends and his second biggest wrestling match. He had apparently gone on vacation, and had gotten called back to fast he had to fight in a towel and floral shirt. Earning his nickname 'Yarr'garita'. Another one from his vacation fight was the abomination known as 'Inconvenience' being a rhino faunas he had a large horn, as well as being the strongest of them, having incredible muscles. He was also known to be the cousin of Beardo, who did later confirm it. Another being a faunas who was a dark blue, almost purple. His tail resembling a monkey somewhat, but his large thighs and shoulders made him look awkward when he was almost complete bone in his calves and wrists. His nose being absurdly large. His hands and feet dwarfing his entire head, and a spike sticking from his chest that he used as a weapon. His next friend was almost as odd as the blue alien creature, he wore a paper bag over his face to hide his shame, though he had a medal to prove just how good he was at it. He was known as Mr. Diddles. He was outfitted with two watches, one set to run as if it were noon, the other as if it were midnight, his reason being 'It's always time to diddle' as he wore a towel for no known reason, and was outfitted with random sandals. The final new friend was apparently a brother to the first blue man, and a friend the Broccoli, he was the DD, Dick demolisher, having earned his name from punching a few too thousand dicks. Like his brother, his shoulders and thighs were large, while his wrists and calves were thin and lithe. Also like his brother he hand enormous hands and feet, yet no tail and a normal sized nose. While his brother was bald, he had a full head of chestnut wind-swept hair, along with bandages along his wrists, as apparently he hated to show his wrists.

And so the Corpirate finished his story, one he assumed would pale in comparison to the giant. He asked Giantdad to take off the mask, and tell his story. Figuring it would be as incriminating for him to do it as it wasn't, 'he' took off the Mask of the Father...only to reveal a girl no older than sixteen behind it. Giantdad, or Only, as the Corpirate learned her real name was, had apparently come from a world of undeath. Of course the price for the immortality was insanity, and so the Corpirate gave his heart to the girl. Only gave a brief description of what she was doing when the portal opened, fighting three of the most dangerous men known to the world. She explained how she was a sort of enigma, a legend. As such, she took the mantel 'Giantdad' due to her wearing the giant's armor, along with an enchanted mask that looked like a man. Though it didn't seem like it, the Corpirate could tell the girl was battle scared, mentally, and probably physically. She explained about Leeroy, and how he was swallowed in a green portal, and how she was taken by way of one without a definitive color, as it was more or less just a hole between worlds.

"Looks as if though you don't have many friends in this world, or your old one then" the Corpirate said grinning as he extended his calloused hand. "Friends?"

"Friends" Only replied with a delicate smile on her face. Her voice soft and sounding innocent, rather than the deep gruff voice of the persona she was behind. The Corpirate smiled at the young girl, before realizing the time.

"Uh, you've got to get back to Beacon, and fast!" the Corpirate exclaimed looking a grandfather clock, seeing as it was six in the morning. They had been conversing for quite a while. "The kids are probably going on their missions soon, so you should go if you want a few too go with you" he explained to the girl before tossing her a key. "Just please, bring it back in one piece" he mock begged the girl who then explained she had never heard of a car. "For fuck's sake just get in it, I'll drive you" the man said tiredly , the all nighter clearly taking a toll on his body. The duo got into the car outside and drove to the air dock, the morning dew still on some surrounding objects.

**[How Jelly Are you About This One Linebreak?]**

"Oh dear god" Geoff Ramsey said aloud as he, as well as the majority of the school, had been startled early in the morning by an incredibly loud car. Which would be fine, except for the fact that the car would have to drive up a 100 degree angle in order to get to the top. Which is only just slightly less impressive than climbing up a 90 degree angle.  
"Toss me a beer ya bloody wanker" Gavin Free mumbled from his bed where he was currently eating a pillow. Said British faunas got a beer bottle thrown at his head. "Thank you" he responded, though it sounded more like 'Fangh fuu' through the pillow. Ray was awake already by the windowsill, tending to his roses. His white roses, his yellow roses, his red roses, he liked roses, okay? Ray was infamous around Beacon for his love of the plant, and as such during Valentine's Day, Ray often made off with literal thousands of lien.  
"Oh my god this is hilarious" Ray said as he attempted to muffle his laughter with his hand. Ray was laughing at the Corpirate crashing his pimp-mobile into a wall. That being said, the damned car didn't even have a scratch on it, where as the wall had a new gaping hole in it.

"Fuck you" Geoff replied groaning at his father's, the Corpirate, stupidity.

"You wish"

"I'll kill you!"

"Mmm kinky"

Micheal took this moment to toss a textbook at Ray. Since this was a college textbook, he book weighed about two hundred pounds, as such, Ray went out like a light. "We should use textbooks to fight grimm..." Micheal lamented as he poked Ray's unconscious body with his foot. 

**[You Wish You Could Linebreak Like Me]**

"Eee!" Ruby, the 'fearless' leader of team RWBY squealed in delight as she jumped up and down as Ozpin allowed them to follow Oobleck on a mission in the old city. The girl's bouncing energy was semi-contagious, as Yang was equally excited. Weiss and Blake had to act as the sane, calm ones.

"Calm down you dunce!" Weiss chastised her girlfriend, though the smile on her face deceived her harsh words. "After all, we should be preparing for the mis- AHK!" Weiss began to berate her, before Ruby groped the less endowed girl, earning herself a yelp.**  
**  
"C'mon Weiss calm down a little..." Ruby asked as she moved her hands rhythmically over her teammate's chest.

"You two might want to not do that while there are two other people in the room" Blake deadpanned as they had seemingly forgotten them.

"Aw, don't be mean, you're just jealous" Yang said with a smirk as she pulled to faunas into a breast smothering hug. The cat girl was currently suffocating in Yang's breasts, and so she bit her girlfriend's tit.

"Kinky"

"I'm going to murder you"

"Worth it" Yang finished before sprinting out the door.

**PLOT TWIST, GIANTDAD IS A FEMALE. HER NAME IS ONLY, OBVIOUS REFERNECE IS OBVIOUS. Anyways, yes, Giantdad is Onlyafro. And female. Also, the Corpirate, along with the rest of the WWE gang have their kids in Beacon. Ryan and Jack will make an appearance at some point, and I'm sure that I'll eventually get around to having Giantdad get a shipping. I was thinking Velvet, but then I was like nah I like Coco x Velvet too much. Then I was like, Gavin x Only, but I don't know.**

**Anyways, this was fun to write, a bit over 2000 words. Anyways, I was contemplating how to introduce Oroboro-Sempai and Peeve-Chan to the world, and I am defiantly going to make them teachers. While neither look older than fourth years, Oroboro and Peeve are older than Only by a few hundred years. Sunlight being the youngest (in my headcanon). Before anyone asks yes, Oroboro x Peeve for life. So, so tempted to write Oro and Peeve smutty goodness, but later. **

**See y'all on the fourth I suppose.**


	6. Omake: Rest in Piece

**I've always been what most people consider a hard-ass. I don't get sad, I don't mourn, and I sure as hell don't cry. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna miss Monty. Monty Ohm, creator of animated show RWBY, and friend of many passed away February 1st, 2015 4:34 P.M.  
As such, this is an Omake of sorts. I don't know honestly. Insert all that stuff about missing, and all that jazz. Well, that was nice to get off my chest. Okay, I'm over it, have a chapter as a sort of... I don't know, memorial? Regardless, enjoy, stop mourning soon (is that something you say? I don't know), and have a happy February.  
Also, if you've forgotten, Only is Giantdad, but no one knows Giantdad is female.  
_**

The student body stood around a casket, not opened. Inside the chestnut tomb sat Monty Ohm's carcase. The Asian had an allergic reaction during a simple medical procedure. The result of which was being in a coma for ten days, before passing away. The result was devastating for the many students that he taught, not to mention his close friends and family. The closest of friends and enemies doing nothing but sobbing, or attempting to hold back the tears of the departed. The few not crying were tending to those who were, offering a shoulder.

Yang was crying soundlessly, while Ruby's sobs were muffled by Yang's uncharacteristic black dress. Ozpin looked no different from his usual self, minus his coffee and scarf, while Glynda had changed her outfit for a black one. Weiss was sad, she actually like Monty's class he was... nice for lack of a better word, and as such, held back the waterworks by acting mean. Everyone could see what she was doing, and knew she was just one action away from a breakdown. Blake had always been good at not showing emotion, this proved no difference except for a pained look on her face that she allowed to show. Jaune and Cardin had apparently arranged a truce, because both parties had arms around each others backs. Pyrrha had been comforting Nora, and Ren had the most stoic face of them all, rivaling even Ozpin as he comforted Nora with promises.

Only had been standing near the back, if she was shedding any tears it was invisible due to the mask. Velvet was hugging her teacher, though the rough brass of her armor had it hard for her to properly sob on it, as she to had tears flowing down her face. Coco was patting Velvet's back as she glanced at the girl with care. Yatsuhashi and Fox weren't doing much, simply standing around in black uncomfortably shifting. Gavin had been absolutely bawling over the loss and now had bloodshot eyes and a mucus filled nose. Micheal had been little better, seeing as he liked the teacher almost as much as Gavin. Ray had his usual clothing on, his tuxedo and pocketed rose making his clothing match the situation. Geoff drowned any of his sorrow in alcohol as did Jack, though neither got drunk, or even moderately buzzed. Ryan was attempting to comfort his father, Professor Port, who was sobbing into his sleeve. Oobleck was standing alone, his twitching alleviated, and his voice running at a normal tempo. His usually crazy hair combed back.

"**Sad"** the giant stated softly, the only ones hearing in being Velvet and Coco who were stood near her. Coco responded without her characteristic diva tone.  
"Yes, it's quite a shame he died"

**"Remember the good?"** Only questioned the shorter girl without bunny ears.

"Mm, yes, I do suppose we should remember the good times" she mused.

**"Orange dust" **Only silently chuckled at the memory.

_Flashback...  
_

_In any old teaching room at beacon, Monty Ohm was hunched over his desk. He had been the dust instructor at the time, and as such always attempted to try new combinations of dust. He had been trying to create orange dust, by mixing yellow and red dust together, though had not succeeded so far. The man casually grounded up yellow and red dust in dust form (that's a mouthful) in a mortar and pestle. Of course when he did this, it caused a rather unsavory reaction. In the form of glowing, before exploding. Luckily for Monty he had been fast enough to chuck the bowl of dust at a wall before it detonated. When it did, it blew a hole it the wall. Right into Giantdad's class. The explosion had cleanly knocked off a few meters of plaster and concrete._

_Of course the only thing Monty had said in response to the explosion was "Success!" at his mixing of the dusts. It was actually rather funny, seeing as how he was covered in drywall flakes._

_End flashback..._

"Oh yes I do remember that" Coco quietly giggled at the memory of Monty covered in white.

"Shut up and hug me" Velvet said muffled as she switched from her teacher's chest to her team leaders. Coco, not wanting to disappoint, did hug the girl back and rubbed her head slowly.

Only, seeing as she might interrupt the moment between the two oblivious lovers (Only could see it a mile away, hell she guess Solaire and Rhea would get together, and she was right!). She looked over at Ren whom was hugging a crying Nora with one hand, rubbing her head with the other. Weiss was fuming over near a tree as she tried to suppress tears, though as Ruby came over and hugged the girl she broke down crying calling Ruby 'dunce' attempting to stop the shed of tears.

Yang had since recovered, though still seemed oddly somber as she sat next to Blake. Gavin, bless his heart, had stopped crying though looked like mess with his blood shot eyes, the red lines down his face, and the mucus leaking from his nasal. Micheal had fared little better, his bear ears drooping as he slowly fell asleep. Not that anyone could blame him, his body was shutting down due to his massive draining of liquid. Jack and Geoff were now slightly tipsy, though were simply quietly reminiscing old memories of the professor. Cardin had since left, feeling as though he'd payed his respects. Jaune and Pyrrha were now standing near each other, holding hands as they looked away from each other.

Ozpin had his eyes closed as he stood near the casket, Glynda holding a checklist of sorts near him. Oobleck had stayed the same. Ryan had gotten Peter to stop crying, but he had a downcast expression on his face, his mustache drooping. Yatsuhashi and Fox were still standing awkwardly shifting away from the others.

At this time, the Corpirate had decided to arrive, apologizing for being late on account he had to go get some people. The Corpirate's ensemble hadn't changed from when Only had first met the man, his tuxedo and eye-patch, the dress shoes and the monocle. Behind the man he had a bear faunas, presumably Micheal's father, who wore a simple black suit, and a fedora with slots for his ears to stick out he was skinny, and extremely short, his brown hair doing nothing to stop him from looking younger than Micheal. The only solace he had was that he had a well developed jaw line. The second man behind the Corpirate was incredibly buff, to the point where he was probably Peter's weight in _muscle. _He was an interesting suit, light brown with red and green outlining. The shoulders had tassels and hung freely. The man wore a luchador mask and a small sombrero. He was undeniably Ray's father. Needless to say the apple fell into the river, then drifted off to sea. The third to come behind the Corpirate was the rhino faunas that the Corpirate often told stories about. Now imagine Ray's father. Yeah, now multiply that by two and put a horn on his head because that's what he looked like. Incon, as the rhino was called, had a simple pair of black sweatpants and a black sweater on, followed by combat boots. Nothing else fit his massive frame. His perm was untouched, though it looked slightly longer than normal.

With everyone here, the sermon began.

"We are gathered here today, to put a very important man to rest" Ozpin said aloud as he stood relaxed in front of the casket.

"Monty Ohm passed away February 1st, 2015 at 4:34 P.M. Due to a severe allergic reaction his body put him in a comatose state, in which ten days later he died." Ozpin paused before continuing the speech.

"He will never be forgot, for he had many friends" Ozpin gestured over to the teaching staff, as well as Ray's father, the Corpirate and Incon. "Many family members" Ozpin now gestured over to Ren and his brothers, sisters, and mother. "And he also had many, many students whom he cared for deeply" Ozpin finished the line, not bothering to gesture to anyone, as the majority of people there were students.

"Monty Ohm may be dead, but he will forever live on in our hearts," Ozpin proclaimed as he raised his head, "but that is why his death will be so much harder to take" Ozpin finished sadly.

Only mentally cursed at the curse of the undeath not carrying over to Remnant. Though, she supposed it was for the best. When people die they are meant to stay dead.

"Now, if everyone will please say a few words about Monty, we can all finish this" Ozpin finally finished his speech.

Ruby approached first, her normally pale face adorned with red marks that indicated heavy crying.

"I-I know I'm not the b-best at this thing," Ruby began "but I'm really going to miss Professor Ohm and all his crazy experiments" she finished as she cried dry tears.

And so the people went up, said their goodbyes, said why they would miss them, and most saying they hoped to see them later.

And so, with that, the casket was lowered into the ground, before the hole was filled with dirt, courtesy of Only using a shovel, and Oobleck who brought said shovel. When all was said and done, Ren had to write the words on the tombstone. He found it ironic, that it wasn't the first time he had to do it. A sort of dry humor in all this. But he digressed, and began to write out the saying.

_Here lies Monty Ohm  
"Beloved father, brother, husband, friend, teacher, and scholar.  
Died in his prime, but his life was full and good.  
He will be missed."  
June 22, 1981 – February 1, 2015  
__ 

**WAHHHH! MONTY WHY! Inward sigh. I almost cried while writing this. Always a late bloomer to emotions it would seem. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed the Omake, as this isn't gonna be canon. Anyways, I have to say thanks to all those who have favorite, followed, reviewed, hell even those who have just read. I have a blast writing this, and I will continue to do so. No death is going to stop me (I'll simply be sad when writing, which is nothing new...I think I just burned myself...) Anyways, have a happy February, R.I.P. Monty Ohm and have a Spooky Thanksbirthmas.**


	7. Friends from the Other Side

**I'm back! I bet you're wondering what my excuse was for not uploading anything the last two weeks, aren't ya? Well the excuse is I have four stories going and school. Plus, I like reading other people's stories and watching YouTube. In other words, no excuse. Made worse by the fact I want to write _another_ story. Just hear me out, okay? Dan Phantom as... Louise's Familiar. No? Well to be honest I just like the idea of writing about Dan, considering how much I love him, yet few people write him as the good guy. For good reason, I suppose.  
REVIEWS:  
mastermind- Shit, why did I not think of that. God damn it that would've been hilarious.**

**Sting- Little late there bud.**

**Vinyl Scratch- True, but I like the idea of a fifteen year old girl curb stomping the entire RWBYverse. Also, OnlyAfro's YouTube picture is a girl soooo. Also I think Only is secretly a grill. Also yes, I know that says grill. That's the joke. Also if you haven't seen OnlyAfro's Valentine Video, do it. It's hi-fucking-larious.**

Oroboro, otherwise known as Brandon, was fuming. Not because he had killed DarkSydePhil. Nor was he fuming because of the abomination worm that was dry humping the air near him. He was fuming because Giantdad, THE Giantdad, had completely disappeared. It wasn't all bad, Oroboro mused to himself, at least he could recreate the event. Maybe leave his 'home' of Lordran and venture to wherever Giantdad branched to. Sighing to himself Oroboro got up and went to gather Peeve and Sunlight to attempt to recreate the phenomenon. If it didn't work at least he and Peeve could go down to Izalith for a nice lava bath. That is if Sunlight-chan would leave them alone for three damnable minutes.

Peeve Peeverson was mildly annoyed. Not because he was often swarmed with fans looking to see his parrying skill. Nor was it because he and his lover, Brandon, hadn't had steamy hentai sex in the last few days. Okay that was partly why he was annoyed. The other reason was that he had just invented teleportation, and wasn't even the one who tested if it worked! Peeve wasn't sure whether it was a dimension hopping, though he thought it was, seeing as the sky was an ungodly shade of blue, or if it was simply a portal to somewhere else in Lordran. Or time travel. Time travel could be it seeing as they were currently in the past, in Giantdad's Colosseum to be exact. Peeve only sighed and looked up as he saw Brandon approaching him his metallic armor reflection light off of it.

"Hallo, Peeve" the Astorian man said to the thorn armored man in his own way.

"What is it, Brandon?" replied the Catarinian as he stood, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he did.

"I'm Sunlight!" a third, British, voice suddenly called out making both men jump and squeak like small children. Said voice came from none other than Sunlight Blade. While the child wore a dress, he was battle ready, if the gigantic stone-like axe was any indication. While Oroboro used a falchion and enchanted it with Darkmoon Blade he was by no means strong, rather he was dexterous. Peeve, while slightly stronger, used a cursed katana as his main weapon and a counter to greatshields in the from of a stone greatsword once wielded by Gwyn. Sunlight on the other hand wielded an absolutely massive, _massive_, Greataxe made of a dragon's tail. The Gaping **(A.N. Vagina) **Dragon's tail if one were to be specific.

"Holy fucking shit!" Oroboro exclaimed loudly at the boy who intruded the conversation. While one may think this was an over zealous reaction, they must remember two things. One; Lordran is brimming with hollows looking to rip your humanity out of your still beating, or rather not beating, heart. And two; Oroboro is infamous for over reacting, and being an all around nutcase. If his 'stairway of bodies' was any suggestion.

Peeve didn't say anything, though he did send a glare at the man in the white dress

Sunlight chuckled sheepishly while rubbing the back of their head. Oroboro simply glared at the child as he slapped Sunlight upside the head.

"I assume you want to follow Giantdad, Brandon" it was more of a statement than an actual question.

"My weapon is A-okay!" Sunlight told the two while he presented the hummed in acceptance "My miracle is back," holding up a talisman to emphasize the statement.

"My hair is fabulous, as always" Peeve mused, seeing as he hadn't done anything other than swing both his weapons at ground zero.

"Shut up, Peeve" the other two said simultaneously earning a frown from Peeve.

And so our three protagonists, or antagonists depending on who you are, stalked to the middle of the ruined colosseum and did their mutual parts. Each being tied to the same rope. Oroboro used Wrath of the Gods, causing a burst of white to come (A.N. cum) out of him. Sunlight plunged his axe into the ground with both hands, causing a mighty burst of brownish energy to erupt, creating a shock wave. Peeve swung his cursed Chaos Blade and his Greatlord Greatsword when the attacks collided, slightly harming himself as is the curse of the blade of chaos.

They say every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Some say to gain something, one must give something of equal value. So when Neptune, Emerald, and Mercury came through the portal in Lordran it would only be fitting that Oroboro, Sunlight, and Peeve were sucked into said portal. **(A.N. I hate Neptune. I also strongly dislike Emerald and Mercury, but only because they're hard to write. I just hate Neptune for being Neptune)**.If the teleporting/dimension jumping were similar to Giantdad's then all three would be teleported high enough to ensure their untimely demise. Then again, they were all actually corpses, if their body temperature was to be considered. No one has cold blood, unless you're dead. Then again it's not so much blood as it is a brown pasty- okay I'm just gonna stop there.

When they landed, which was luckily nor more than two feet off the ground, Peeve and Oroboro looked around. So if they were at some sort of secret base, and Sunlight-chan wasn't here, then two of them were in the same place when they were teleported. It wasn't long until some White Fang recruits came along.

"So, let me guess, you're the bad guys?" Oroboro asked pointing his falchion at some White Fang grunts. The peons simply growled as they reached for their weapons. Of course once they saw the man with the bloody, spiked armor and the large stone sword they blanched.

"Here's the deal," Peeve proclaimed with a smirk, "you'll are gonna take use too your leader."

"Jesus Christ could that have sounded any stupider, Peeve?"

"Fuck you, Brandon"

The grunts were still intimidated, though not to the extent previously. Spiked armor generally gives away that 'I'm a sociopath' vibe. "Hey you want to follow us, maybe?" a random grunt asked them, drawing them out from their argument.

"You have balls. You're in the gang now." Oroboro said casually over to the man, tossing him a scimitar. Newbies got scimitars and short swords, while the veterans got the falchions and other fantastic weaponry. Where he got the scimitar, you ask? Hammer space.

The man in question barely caught said curved sword. He did however, instantly walk over to our protagonists and stand beside them, bowing.

"Duck you ye bloody igdit" one of the two remaining White Fang loyalists cursed his old companion.

"Is igdit supposed to mean idiot, or some other derogatory term relating to one's stupidity?" Oroboro suddenly asked.

"It 'eans e's a bloody igdet, ya igdet!" the previous man reiterated. Peeve, being the only one who's face was shown, put on a blank face. Oroboro went to go murder the 'igdet', but, his new recruit beat him to it throwing his scimitar and ripping the neck of the man.

The second loyalist White Fang member then charged at them, holding his gun like a club. Said gun-club was slashed into bits by Oroboro's falchion. Along with a decent chunk of head. "Still want to meet the boss, bosses?" the new recruit of the Oroboro (and Peeve) empire asked retrieving his previously tossed scimitar.

Oroboro smirked behind his knight helmet and confirmed the peon's question.

_**Spider-man, Spider-man, does whatever a line break can. **_

Roman was NOT having a good day. First his favorite hair salon was under repairs because of a stray baseball. How was he the villain, those cretins should be hauled off to jail for their crime! At least he knew the basics, otherwise Neo would've pestered him to no end. Which was completely fine seeing as she was adorable to Roman when she pouted.

Not so fine when she looked like she walked into a hurricane. There was a downside to the multicolored hair.

Not that Neo would've changed it if Roman asked, which he wouldn't.

Oh, and did Roman mention that there was an unconscious fourteen year old on his mountain?

Yes, Roman owned a mountain. Yes, there was a teenager as young as Neo near his house. Yes, he was going to kill the boy if he so much as stared at Neo for to long. Yes Roman is incredibly over protective of Neo. Not that she (usually) minds, mind you. 

'Can we keep him' Neo hand signed to her father.

No, he thought, no I am not being overprotective. Not in the slightest.

Roman attempted to formulate a response. The result was not pretty.

"I, uh- I mean, err-," he started to rub his temple with his left hand "I suppose we can bring him to the house, seeing as if we don't he'll die, but don't feed him any ice cream."

Roman had no problem letting the kid die. He did however have a problem with a morally ambiguous teenager who happened to be addicted to ice cream. And puppies, as it were. That and an angry Neo was on par with an angry Cinder. Okay, that was a lie, Neo wasn't quite _that_ bad. Close, but no cigar.

Speaking of, he just ran out. Roman cursed the universe, muttering something along the lines of 'one day I will shoot god for this,' with a few more unmentionable acts of torture. He was so enraptured in his, scarily, detailed monologuing of torture that he never noticed Neo attempt to feed ice cream to the unconscious boy who was no in their car.

Her semblance was probably something related to ice cream. Or...well actually that's the only thing the universes could guess. Even in another universe, one where a female Draco Malfoy raped a male Harry Potter and 'obliviated' him. Then had his baby. Neo had been an ice cream witch in that world. **(Reference is reference, also cookie to anyone who knows what that's from)**

Roman reiterated, he was NOT having a fun day.

The rest of the ride went without any random interruptions, excluding Neo poking the boy hard enough to push him off the seat. Followed by Neo putting his head on her lap.

Roman almost crashed the car to see if the boy was faking it. Not that it would make it much better in terms of him being so close to his daughter.

Eventually, and luckily, the duo (plus the unconscious teenager) made it to their home on top of a mountain. All the better that it was fairly remote, Roman liked his privacy. He also liked keeping his beloved daughter as far away from any male beside him as possible. Of course what Roman didn't know was that he had unintentionally turned his daughter into a lesbian. She wasn't hiding it, mind you, he just never asked her preference.

That was bound to be an awkward conversation in the near future and no grandchildren unless they adopted, which was likely seeing as Neo was adopted by Roman.

The multicolored girl bounced on the balls of her feet as she put out three bowls of ice cream, her shoes already discarded near the door.

Roman didn't like ice cream before he adopted her. Hell, he didn't like anything that had a sweet taste. A loud slap rang through the house as Roman slapped the male teenager, who was wearing a dress for some reason, very hard. This caused to things to happen. One; get slapped by Neo, which hurt. Followed by two; a groan and the fluttering of eyes from the unconscious boy.

The boy yawned while talking,"where am-," well he tried to until Neo decided that he needed ice cream at this very moment. Which resulted in the boy shutting up, and Roman giving him a shrug. Even Roman would admit it was odd. Taking another spoon full of the tri-flavored frozen treat, Neo happily smiled at the two males.

"So where are you from, boy?" Roman instigated the conversation. He learned a long time ago, if Neo comes in contact with awkward silence she would become uncomfortable. If the broken spoon explained.

"O-oh I'm from Lordran. My name is Sunlight!" the boy shined (pun not intended) at the two. "I'm also female, so you know."

Oh. That explained the incredibly lithe body, the slightly long hair, the high voice (though Roman assumed the boy simply was going through a late puberty). Roman completely ignored where he was from and instead let out a breathe he had been holding in.

"Whew, that means I won't have to kill you for being in my daughter's lap" said statement caused Neo and Sunlight to go red in the face. "Unless you're a raging lesbian-" Roman began chuckling before suddenly stopping. "Just to be clear... you aren't a lesbian, are you?" Roman asked his daughter. He didn't know why he had even thought that, she bought all the normal things teenaged females bought; umbrellas, makeup, a few hundred yoga vide- oh shit.

Roman realized he was buying soft core porn for his daughter, without even realizing it. That is if she nods her- and she just nodded her head.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm bisexual so-"

"Why would that make me feel any better?" Roman asked, turning his head to the female that could talk, "Now I have to kill you, you should have lied" Roman said flatly.

'Uh this isn't necessary' Neo attempted to sign to Roman 'I don't even know anything but her name'. The signals seemed to calm Roman down slightly, if only just.

'Not that you aren't cute or anything-'

"YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" Roman bellowed as he started to chase the female, British, undead, epitome of happiness.

Well this would probably end well. Assuming Roman lets Sunlight live, that is.

_

**Finished. I'm done, spent, tired. Well actually none of those, I just have an idea I need to write, but wanted to get this out first. For those wondering the chapter itself is 2380 some odd words, and the rest is author notes. Anyways, yes, Roman is Neo's father. Why? I like it. Also Sunlight is a female because his Dark Souls character is female. Also yuri is easier to write than yaoi or Male /Female. **


End file.
